How You Look Matters!
Hello my lovely classy and elegant ladies! This day after the inauguration of the 47th president of the United States, I feel compelled to address two things:
1) Dressing appropriately for an occasion, and
2) Emphasizing the importance of overall dress and grooming.
The driving forces behind my wanting to address these two items are the inauguration, of course, but also a repeated pattern of behavior that I have seen with many singles who are dating and want to find a mate.
Let’s begin with the inauguration, shall we. I watched most of the event on television, mainly because I wanted to take note of the attire and the protocol required for such an event. While watching, I couldn’t help but notice how the ladies looked so lovely in their attire, with makeup and accoutrements tactfully and tastefully in place. At one point, the camera man pans a particular area of the audience while the reporter makes note of certain high profile individuals, and I could not help but notice a mostly inappropriate lacy piece of attire amidst the sea of conservative fashion. It was no other than Lauren Sanchez who opted to attend the event in an inappropriate wardrobe item.
You see, the inauguration is a conservative, semi formal political event. Lace has no place in politics. That fashion decision was most definitely a faux pas for the following reasons:
It displays attention seeking behavior which is already a negative. However, that stunt took it further as it was so far gone that it was actually disrespectful.
It disrespected the tradition of the event, her fiance’ with whom she attended as a plus one, and others in attendance as this was not the time or place for such attire.
This shows a lack of awareness as to what is or is not acceptable for a particular event.
It shows a lack of consideration for others and a selfishness that is premeditated by one who seeks to upstage a person at their own event.
It shows a lack of class and elegance.
Of course she stood out like a sore thumb amongst the other ladies who were appropriately dressed. Consider the examples below.
It was not about her, it was about those being sworn into office. It is completely ill-mannered and distasteful to do anything to take attention away from those who are supposed to be the center of attention at their own event! Also, if you notice her partner’s facial expressions and body language, it appeared that he was uncomfortable at times.
I point this out because it is important that we consider that we are not in this world alone. What we wear can either honor ourselves and our partner or date, or it can make them uncomfortable and embarrassed. You need to be aesthetically aligned with the person you are involved with.
That brings me to the next point of why it is import to consider your looks at all times, but especially if you desire to date and find a partner. When someone sees you for the first time, your overall appearance is your first communication, long before you ever utter a word. This first impression will either open doors for you, or slam them shut.
Ladies, please do not be mistaken by the jokes of other women who say their man doesn’t notice things about them. When a man meets you for the first time, there is nothing that escapes his attention. Therefore, the clothes you put on should be:
1) Appropriate for the occasion. Don’t wear a floor length gown (formal/black tie) to a dinner date which calls for a nice cocktail dress (semi-formal). If you are not sure what to wear, consider an online or social media search of the event or venue and take note of what others are wearing.
2) Clean, wrinkle free and well maintained. While part of me feels that this shouldn’t need to be said, I have to remind myself and therefore all readers that some are just starting on their journey and may need to read/hear this. No missing buttons, loose threads or seams, holes or stains are an absolute NO!
3) Properly fitting and well suited for your body shape. Too often I see women wearing something that does nothing to flatter their shape. The item may be too small and therefore ill-fitting. Other times the style and cut is just wrong for their body type.
Your shoes should be clean and well maintained. You should not wear shoes that have dings or peeling leather on the heels or toes, and heel taps should not be worn to the leather. The insoles should also be in good repair. Inspect your shoes regularly and take them to a cobbler to get heel taps, insoles or even soles replaced. You can also have damage to the heel and toes repaired and have a suitable form of protection applied to preserve them a bit longer.
Other things to take into consideration are your overall grooming:
Hair - Master your hair and take great care of it. I have seen women turned down due to a bad wig or extensions. Also, evaluate whether your hair style is ageing you, or if it is making you look your best. I have seen women get rejected or overlooked because their hair styling was unflattering. If you do not know how to do your own hair, there are plenty of tutorials and aids on YouTube. Or, consider adjusting your budget to go to a salon for regular care and styling.
Makeup - I have never seen a man reject a woman who looks clean and polished with little or no makeup. However I have heard time and again that too much is a turn off. As a former makeup lover, I hear the sighs and teeth sucking as you read this. To that I will say this as my experience and observation: if it can’t be seen, they don’t see a problem. So, try to avoid heavy and dark looks, and learn to master a look that is undetectable and still looks like you.
Nails - OK, here I cringe. I am a nail lover although I rarely wear nail art. However, I have heard the lamenting over nails that are too long and or have a lot of designs on them. Ladies, if you want an overall look that says class and/or elegance, consider keeping your nails on the conservative side. If you love length, keep them around an inch long ditch the designs or wild colors. If you must have designs, try a shorter length with more conservative designs.
Hygiene - Make sure your body, head to toe is clean and well cared for. This means not just bathing regularly, but ensuring that your heels, elbows and knees are moisturized. Make sure your feet are always clean, your pedicure is in tact and that your heels are moisturized - year round, no just during the summer months. Yes, a man will notice if the bottoms of your feet are dirty or if your heels are rusty.
For a further breakdown on this topic, visit my YouTube channel and watch my latest video.
If you are dating, or considering whether or not to start dating, why not approach it with a plan? My ebook, Dating with Class and Elegance will help you think through key elements that need to be considered and help you create your own personal dating plan.
