Etiquette Can Make You More Attractive
In a world where first impressions matter, the way you carry yourself can be just as important as what you say. Proper etiquette in movement and posture enhances not only your visual appeal but also boosts your confidence, emotional well-being, and even your physical health and safety. Developing elegant deportment isn’t just about looking polished—it’s about exuding self-assurance, grace, and charm all why communicating that you are not an easy mark.
The Art of Standing with Proper Posture
Good posture is the foundation of graceful movement. Standing tall with a straight back, shoulders relaxed yet pulled back slightly, and your chin parallel to the floor instantly creates an aura of confidence and attractiveness. This poised stance not only makes you appear more refined but also has significant physical benefits, such as reducing strain on your spine and improving circulation. Emotionally, maintaining good posture can enhance self-esteem and reduce stress, helping you feel more composed in social situations. As important, good posture affects your overall sense of well-being as it allows the vagus nerve, which is crucial in mood control, to signal the brain that you feel alert alert and well.
Sitting Down and Standing Up Elegantly
The way you transition between sitting and standing speaks volumes about your refinement. To sit gracefully, approach the chair, slightly angle your legs, and lower yourself with control while keeping your back straight. When rising, push off gently with your legs rather than using your hands to lift yourself up, ensuring a smooth and poised motion. This effortless grace conveys confidence and composure, making you appear more attractive and sophisticated. It also strengthens your core and leg muscles, contributing to better overall physical health.
Picking Up Something Dropped on the Floor
A simple action such as retrieving a dropped item can either enhance or diminish your poise. Instead of bending at the waist, which can appear abrupt and ungraceful, opt for a more refined approach: bend your knees slightly while keeping your back straight, or if appropriate, lower yourself into a gentle squat, keeping your knees together. This movement maintains dignity and elegance while preventing strain on your back. The mental benefit? You’ll feel more in control and self-assured, reinforcing an image of effortless refinement.
Walking Elegantly with Grace
Your walk is a reflection of your inner confidence and poise. A graceful stride involves keeping your head up, shoulders relaxed, and placing one foot slightly in front of the other in a natural, fluid motion. Avoid dragging your feet or taking hurried, heavy steps. Instead, move with a gentle rhythm that conveys ease and assurance. Walking elegantly not only makes you appear more attractive but also improves posture and coordination, benefiting your physical health while enhancing emotional balance.
The Safety Benefits of Being Poised
Did you know that narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths are more likely to target victims that are hurried, seemingly unorganized and unpoised? Such movements and actions give the impression that one is lacking self-esteem and confidence. As such, it is thought that if you display these ungraceful behaviors that you can be easily manipulated due to lack of focus and control. Afterall, if one cannot control themselves, they can be easily controlled by external influences.
The Benefits of Graceful Deportment
Mastering the art of elegant movement offers a wealth of advantages beyond visual appeal:
Physical Benefits: Improved posture leads to better spinal health, reduced fatigue, and increased flexibility.
Mental Benefits: Carrying yourself with grace enhances self-awareness and confidence, helping you navigate social settings with ease.
Emotional Benefits: Moving with elegance fosters a sense of inner calm, reducing anxiety and promoting a positive self-image.
For detailed demonstrations on the graceful deportment actions above, see my Etiquette Tip of The Week series on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe so never miss a helpful tip to increase your grace and elegance.
By refining your deportment, you naturally become more attractive—not just in appearance, but in the way you project confidence, grace, and self-respect. True beauty lies not only in how you look but in how you move through the world with poise and elegance.
Start incorporating these etiquette practices into your daily routine, and watch as your charm and presence become more captivating than ever!
Masculine and Feminine Energy
The dynamics of these energies in dating
Dating can be full of unspoken rules and subtle energies guiding interactions. One of the most significant but often overlooked aspects of successful dating is the balance between masculine and feminine energy. Understanding and harmonizing these energies can create deeper attraction, healthier dating interactions, and stronger emotional connections.
Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energy
Masculine and feminine energy are not solely about gender but more so qualities that exist within all individuals. These energies complement each other and play essential roles in romantic dynamics.
Masculine Energy is characterized by leadership, decisiveness, assertiveness, protection, and providing direction. It is forward-moving and thrives on purpose, clarity, and stability.
Feminine Energy is expressive, receptive, intuitive, and nurturing. It flows with emotion, creativity, and connection, often embodying softness, compassion, and spontaneity.
Both men and women possess masculine and feminine energy, and the key to healthy dating dynamics is finding a balance that feels natural.
The Role of Energetic Balance in Attraction
Attraction often stems from polarity—the dynamic interplay between opposing energies. When one partner leans into their masculine energy while the other embraces their feminine energy, a magnetic connection is created. This is why traditional dating advice often encourages men to take the lead and women to be receptive.
If both partners express too much masculine energy, the relationship can become competitive, with power struggles dominating interactions. On the other hand, if both embody excessive feminine energy, there may be a lack of direction, initiative, and stability. Too often, women take on the masculine as their dominant energy and this eventually leads to them feeling a range of emotions including fatigue and burnt out due to the unnatural amount of effort expended to guide and stabilize a romantic relationship
The healthiest and most fulfilling relationships emerge when both partners find a balance that complements each other’s natural energy, namely the man operating in the masculine and the woman the feminine.
Identifying Your Dominant Energy
Understanding whether you naturally lean towards masculine or feminine energy in dating can help you navigate relationships with more self-awareness. Consider the following questions:
Do you feel most comfortable taking charge, making decisions, and leading conversations? You may have a dominant masculine energy.
Do you thrive in emotional expression, creativity, and nurturing connections? You may have a dominant feminine energy.
Do you find yourself oscillating between both depending on the situation? You might possess a balanced of both energies.
Self-awareness allows you to understand your strengths in dating and recognize where you may need to develop more balance.
How to Balance Masculine and Feminine Energy in Dating
Self-Awareness and Authenticity: Recognize your dominant energy and embrace it authentically while remaining open to your complementary energy.
Develop Emotional Intelligence: Understand when to lead and when to follow, when to take action and when to be receptive.
Communicate Openly: Express your needs and desires while respecting your partner’s energy.
Practice Flexibility: Be willing to shift energies when necessary, ensuring harmony in the relationship.
Seek Complementary Partners: Instead of forcing yourself into a role that feels unnatural, seek a partner who naturally complements your energy.
Final Thoughts
Balancing masculine and feminine energy in dating is about embracing both aspects within yourself and recognizing how they interact with others. By understanding and harmonizing these energies, you can create a more fulfilling and dynamic romantic life. Whether you naturally embody more masculine or feminine traits, embracing energetic balance allows for deeper attraction, emotional connection, and long-term compatibility in relationships.
In my book, Dating With Class and Elegance, I include a detailed breakdown of these energies and information on how to shift or balance them. You can also refer to my YouTube channel for more information on how to date with class and elegance.
Dating? You Need a Plan!
Have you ever seen a flyer or piece of paper in the wind being blown in one direction and then another? It helplessly goes whichever way the wind blows and cannot settle until the wind subsides. The flyer has little control over its journey and it is not allowed permanent rest until it lands and someone is able to sweep it up.
Well, when you don’t have a plan for dating you may essentially become like a flyer in the wind. However, unlike the flyer, you can choose to find rest, and where you may find it. The key to doing so is to date with intention, and to do that, you must have a dating plan.
What is a dating plan? It consists of several things, but it is overwhelmingly driven by your mindset which is the foundation of everything you do, and it sets the tone for how you carry those things. I cover the dating plan and mindset this in detail in my new book, Dating with Class and Elegance. I also walk you through all the things you need to think about when navigating the dating arena. I guide you to think things through, and capture your thoughts so by the end you have your plan.
Back to mindset, unresolved emotional wounds from previous relationships, childhood experiences, or personal struggles can unknowingly shape our behaviors and choices in dating. Without healing, you might find yourself repeating patterns, attracting unhealthy relationships, or struggling with emotional triggers.
I would like to share an example that I saw play out on a popular dating show. A young woman was passed over by a man who seemed to be a pretty good guy. He felt that she was shorter than what he would feel comfortable with. He was very gentle in his explanation and even complimented her looks and her dress.
She then went on to be very condescending and quite frankly, nasty to the next two potential men who presented themselves. One of them expressed that she was someone that he would approach and want to know better.
The point here: being hurt from the past encounter caused her to take her hurt and anger out on two men who had nothing to do with the past encounter. In the process of doing so, she ran away the one who could have been the one for her.
I have seen the above scenario played out many times in a myriad of ways. This behavior is something that may keep you single.
Here, at Always Classy and Elegant, we are about personal development toward class and elegance, this applies to dating as well. That begins with taking accountability for yourself, your actions and your life. Even class and elegance begin with your mindset and removing any blocks that are preventing you from taking on a new way of thinking. Healing is the first step toward removing those blocks.
If you find you that you could use some additional help toward establishing a new mindset or other things related to etiquette, class and elegance, you can reach out to me for coaching at: https://www.alwaysclassyelegant.org/.
Until next time, stay classy and elegant!
How You Look Matters!
Hello my lovely classy and elegant ladies! This day after the inauguration of the 47th president of the United States, I feel compelled to address two things:
1) Dressing appropriately for an occasion, and
2) Emphasizing the importance of overall dress and grooming.
The driving forces behind my wanting to address these two items are the inauguration, of course, but also a repeated pattern of behavior that I have seen with many singles who are dating and want to find a mate.
Let’s begin with the inauguration, shall we. I watched most of the event on television, mainly because I wanted to take note of the attire and the protocol required for such an event. While watching, I couldn’t help but notice how the ladies looked so lovely in their attire, with makeup and accoutrements tactfully and tastefully in place. At one point, the camera man pans a particular area of the audience while the reporter makes note of certain high profile individuals, and I could not help but notice a mostly inappropriate lacy piece of attire amidst the sea of conservative fashion. It was no other than Lauren Sanchez who opted to attend the event in an inappropriate wardrobe item.
You see, the inauguration is a conservative, semi formal political event. Lace has no place in politics. That fashion decision was most definitely a faux pas for the following reasons:
It displays attention seeking behavior which is already a negative. However, that stunt took it further as it was so far gone that it was actually disrespectful.
It disrespected the tradition of the event, her fiance’ with whom she attended as a plus one, and others in attendance as this was not the time or place for such attire.
This shows a lack of awareness as to what is or is not acceptable for a particular event.
It shows a lack of consideration for others and a selfishness that is premeditated by one who seeks to upstage a person at their own event.
It shows a lack of class and elegance.
Of course she stood out like a sore thumb amongst the other ladies who were appropriately dressed. Consider the examples below.
It was not about her, it was about those being sworn into office. It is completely ill-mannered and distasteful to do anything to take attention away from those who are supposed to be the center of attention at their own event! Also, if you notice her partner’s facial expressions and body language, it appeared that he was uncomfortable at times.
I point this out because it is important that we consider that we are not in this world alone. What we wear can either honor ourselves and our partner or date, or it can make them uncomfortable and embarrassed. You need to be aesthetically aligned with the person you are involved with.
That brings me to the next point of why it is import to consider your looks at all times, but especially if you desire to date and find a partner. When someone sees you for the first time, your overall appearance is your first communication, long before you ever utter a word. This first impression will either open doors for you, or slam them shut.
Ladies, please do not be mistaken by the jokes of other women who say their man doesn’t notice things about them. When a man meets you for the first time, there is nothing that escapes his attention. Therefore, the clothes you put on should be:
1) Appropriate for the occasion. Don’t wear a floor length gown (formal/black tie) to a dinner date which calls for a nice cocktail dress (semi-formal). If you are not sure what to wear, consider an online or social media search of the event or venue and take note of what others are wearing.
2) Clean, wrinkle free and well maintained. While part of me feels that this shouldn’t need to be said, I have to remind myself and therefore all readers that some are just starting on their journey and may need to read/hear this. No missing buttons, loose threads or seams, holes or stains are an absolute NO!
3) Properly fitting and well suited for your body shape. Too often I see women wearing something that does nothing to flatter their shape. The item may be too small and therefore ill-fitting. Other times the style and cut is just wrong for their body type.
Your shoes should be clean and well maintained. You should not wear shoes that have dings or peeling leather on the heels or toes, and heel taps should not be worn to the leather. The insoles should also be in good repair. Inspect your shoes regularly and take them to a cobbler to get heel taps, insoles or even soles replaced. You can also have damage to the heel and toes repaired and have a suitable form of protection applied to preserve them a bit longer.
Other things to take into consideration are your overall grooming:
Hair - Master your hair and take great care of it. I have seen women turned down due to a bad wig or extensions. Also, evaluate whether your hair style is ageing you, or if it is making you look your best. I have seen women get rejected or overlooked because their hair styling was unflattering. If you do not know how to do your own hair, there are plenty of tutorials and aids on YouTube. Or, consider adjusting your budget to go to a salon for regular care and styling.
Makeup - I have never seen a man reject a woman who looks clean and polished with little or no makeup. However I have heard time and again that too much is a turn off. As a former makeup lover, I hear the sighs and teeth sucking as you read this. To that I will say this as my experience and observation: if it can’t be seen, they don’t see a problem. So, try to avoid heavy and dark looks, and learn to master a look that is undetectable and still looks like you.
Nails - OK, here I cringe. I am a nail lover although I rarely wear nail art. However, I have heard the lamenting over nails that are too long and or have a lot of designs on them. Ladies, if you want an overall look that says class and/or elegance, consider keeping your nails on the conservative side. If you love length, keep them around an inch long ditch the designs or wild colors. If you must have designs, try a shorter length with more conservative designs.
Hygiene - Make sure your body, head to toe is clean and well cared for. This means not just bathing regularly, but ensuring that your heels, elbows and knees are moisturized. Make sure your feet are always clean, your pedicure is in tact and that your heels are moisturized - year round, no just during the summer months. Yes, a man will notice if the bottoms of your feet are dirty or if your heels are rusty.
For a further breakdown on this topic, visit my YouTube channel and watch my latest video.
If you are dating, or considering whether or not to start dating, why not approach it with a plan? My ebook, Dating with Class and Elegance will help you think through key elements that need to be considered and help you create your own personal dating plan.
Elegant Women Don’t Shoot Their Shot
An elegant woman never makes the first move toward a man. She uses her femininity to signal the possibility that he may catch her, which activates his masculinity to begin pursuit of her.
In the world of modern dating, the question of who should make the first move often arises. While some women feel empowered to take the lead, there are others who prefer to maintain a more traditional approach to romance. Classy and elegant women, in particular, may avoid initiating romantic advances toward men for a variety of reasons rooted in confidence, self-respect, and a belief in mutual attraction.
Here are several key reasons why these women often refrain from initiating romantic advances:
1. Belief in Mutual Attraction
Classy women value a relationship built on mutual interest and respect. They believe that when someone is truly interested in them, they will take the initiative. This is not about playing hard to get, but rather about trusting the natural flow of feminine and masculine energies as related to romance. They understand that the most successful relationships often arise from clear, mutual attraction, not from forcing something to happen.
Masculine energy is attracted to feminine energy. Let’s explore this dynamic further to understand the reasons why. First, it is important to understand the characteristics of each. Then we can understand the conjoined harmony they create.
Feminine energy is:
1. Nurturing and Compassionate - It naturally cares for and supports others, offering emotional warmth, understanding, and care, promotes connection, empathy, and the desire to help and heal others.
2. Intuition and Inner Wisdom – Intuition is an inner knowing that doesn’t always require logical reasoning but instead relies on gut feelings, instincts, and subtle cues.
3. Creativity and Inspiration - Women in touch with their feminine energy tend to think outside the box, exploring new possibilities and ways of expression.
4. Flow and Flexibility - It allows individuals to move with life’s changes, responding to challenges and opportunities with ease and is open to transformation, adjusting to circumstances as they evolve.
5. Receptivity and Openness - Feminine energy is rooted in being and receiving. Women with a strong sense of feminine energy know how to receive love, support, and opportunities with grace and humility.
6. Emotional Depth - This energy is deeply attuned to feelings, both of oneself and others, and often emphasizes emotional connection in relationships.
7. Patience and Sensitivity - Women who embody this energy tend to be more patient with themselves, others, and the unfolding of life. They wait for things to develop naturally, trusting that everything will come in its own time.
8. Empathy and Connection - Feminine energy thrives on creating deep emotional bonds and connections with others. Empathy is a central element, as it allows individuals to understand and share in the feelings of others.
9. Grace and Beauty - not just in physical appearance but also in how one carries oneself. There’s a quiet confidence in those who exude feminine energy—an elegance in their movements, words, and actions. This grace is about carrying oneself with dignity, kindness, and self-respect.
10. Self-Care and Inner Peace - A woman in touch with her feminine understands that to give her best to others, she must first be kind and compassionate to herself.
11. Vulnerability - This is not a sign of weakness, but rather the ability to open up, be authentic, creating deeper relationships and understanding, where both individuals feel seen and accepted for who they truly are.
12. Supportive and Collaborative - Rather than competing, feminine energy thrives in collaboration and mutual support. This collaborative spirit fosters teamwork, trust, and a sense of community.
Masculine energy is:
1. Action-Oriented and Goal-Driven - Masculine energy is inherently action-oriented, focusing on taking steps, setting goals, and achieving them.
2. Strength and Resilience - both physical and emotional—is a core element of masculine energy. They rise to challenges, persevere through difficulties, and maintain a strong sense of inner fortitude.
3. Independence and Self-Sufficiency - Masculine energy values independence, autonomy, and the ability to stand on one’s own.
4. Leadership and Authority - Masculine energy embodies the ability to take charge, guide others, and provide direction. It needs to be respected.
5. Rationality and Logical Thinking - Whereas feminine energy often emphasizes intuition and emotional intelligence, masculine energy tends to prioritize logic and rationality.
6. Protection and Provision - Whether it’s providing emotional, financial, or physical support, masculine energy takes pride in fulfilling its role as a protector and caretaker.
7. Discipline and Focus - Masculine energy thrives on focus, organization, and the ability to stick to a plan
8. Assertiveness and Confidence - they are not afraid to assert themselves, set boundaries, and take decisive actions.
9. Purpose and Direction - This strong sense of purpose gives them motivation and clarity in their endeavors.
10. Competitiveness and Drive - Masculine energy pushing oneself to be the best, striving for excellence, and constantly improving.
11. Structure and Organization - Individuals with strong masculine energy excel in setting structures and seeks environments where systems and frameworks are in place to maintain organization and efficiency.
12. Clarity and Directness - Masculine energy values direct communication and straightforwardness.
13. Adventure and Risk-Taking - Masculine energy often gravitates toward adventure, exploration, and taking risks. It seeks thrill and excitement and is linked to a desire to conquer.
14. Mental Toughness and Emotional Control - While it does not dismiss emotions, it often emphasizes handling them in a way that maintains composure and clarity.
Do you see the differences? Intuition vs logic, nurturing vs providing, collaborative vs self-sufficient, vulnerability vs mental toughness? These are the dominant traits of each. However, you may notice that you have some of the masculine traits, at least at times. That is because each sex has both energies, but it’s about what you exhibit the most. Masculine vs masculine in a relations will ultimately result in butting heads and frustration due to the disharmony.
2. Confidence in Their Own Worth
An elegant woman is confident in her own value and knows that she deserves someone who is equally invested and is capable of taking the lead. She doesn’t feel the need to chase after a man because she understands that if a connection is meant to be, it will happen organically. She radiates a self-assurance that commands respect, which often attracts the right person without the need for direct pursuit.
3. Letting Men Take the Lead
For many classy women, there's a belief that men should take the lead in romance. Though women are capable of leading, leadership is dominantly exhibited by the masculine. This doesn't mean they are passive or helpless—rather, it stems from the idea that masculine men feel more comfortable in the pursuit. Think about this: men like to hunt for food and for fun. They bring home the kill (the prize for their effort) and the woman receives it and creates a meal.
Though it may not happen this way in every situation the point is that it's a way of maintaining traditional dating dynamics which requires the masculine to pursue and the feminine to receive and accept. When she accepts, he has earned his prize.
Using the hunting example, imagine that a man is hunting in the wild and is prey starts hunting him? He’s running! It takes him out of the leadership role and he may feel a loss of control over the situation. This may feel deflating for him.
In the dating arena, he is running from you! A masculine man is turned off by a woman who pursues him - she is not a prize to him. This doesn't negate the idea that both parties should contribute equally to a relationship; it simply acknowledges the beauty of a man putting in the effort to make the first move and pursue until he conquers.
4. Self-Respect and Preservation of Mystery
Elegance often comes hand-in-hand with an air of mystery. A woman who values herself knows that part of her allure comes from not revealing everything upfront. By letting things unfold naturally, she preserves the excitement and anticipation that come with getting to know someone. She also understands that by not "shooting her shot," she doesn’t reveal herself too soon, but allows space for a potential partner to pursue her and prove his intentions.
In Conclusion
My mother had a friend who would say that the way you start it is the way you end it. Keep in mind that men seek men seek thrills and excitement, but also respect. They thrive on leadership and feeling they have control over a situation. Classy and elegant women who choose not to "shoot their shot" at men are not outdated or passive; they are simply confident, self-assured, and believe in the importance of mutual respect and attraction. For these women, love is about finding someone who appreciates their value and is willing to take the time and effort to pursue (or hunt) them. It’s a choice that respects the art of romance and preserves the mystery and excitement of love, where both people are equally invested in the connection that unfolds naturally.
Start 2025 Planning Now!
It all begins with an idea.
It’s hard to believe that the we’re already at Thanksgiving and the year is almost over. When you reflect on the past eleven months, did you accomplish some or all of the goals you may have set at the beginning of the year? If you achieved anything on your list, first take a moment to congratulate yourself and celebrate. You deserve this moment!
Whether you achieved all you desired or not, there is likely a continuation of efforts or new goals on your agenda. If you haven’t already begun, now is the time to swing into action.
I learned a lot about the timing of planning through my own personal journey with starting this agency. I spent most of 2023 trying to talk myself out of becoming an entrepreneur. By the time I sorted myself out, it was already January 2024, and I felt like I was already behind for the year. However, I slowly began and here we are today. To hear more about my personal story, how I sorted out my self-doubt and self-sabotage, head over to my YouTube channel and check out my latest video.
Ultimately, my point is that whatever you have in mind, start now! Even if it is as small a step as writing out your action plan or getting information - start somewhere today. To help you I have a few simple steps to get you started:
Clearly define what your goal(s) are. Put them in print.
When do you want to accomplish it? Put that in writing as well.
Think about why you want it and of course, write this out too. You may have to revisit your why in order to stay motivated and focused.
How will you achieve them? Textually map out the steps do you need to take to achieve ‘x’ goal(s).
You can keep this simple or get as detailed as you like. Don’t spend so much time on the details that you don’t take action. Your plan can be adjusted if/as needed. Just start somewhere and do something every day to work toward your goals.
If you need assistance or accountability with getting started, I am here to help you. As a certified life and etiquette coach, I can help via experience and professional training. Click the Book Now button above to schedule your coaching session.
Until next time, in all you do stay classy and elegant!
Party and Networking Etiquette
It all begins with an idea.
With the holidays around the corner, perhaps you are already planning your outfits and accessories for the upcoming parties and celebrations. Of course, looks are a significant part of making a great first impression. But what about conversation and networking? Maybe you are a natural when it comes to small talk with strangers, but if the thought throws you into a mild panic attack, relax because I have some tips below to help you these social events, and you can also check out my Party and Networking Dos and Don’ts video on YouTube for more help.
First, understand that networking is about creating relationships. Do not expect to leave the initial interaction with future plans. Do however be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and put others first.
Networking at parties requires a strategic approach to create connections while maintaining an air of sophistication. You can begin by researching the guest list and identifying key individuals you wish to engage with. Find out what their hobbies or interests are - you can look them up on social media platforms such as LinkedIn and tailor your conversation around those topics.
Prepare thoughtful questions and comments that encourage meaningful dialogue. Practice active listening to foster rapport. Make sure you have your business card on hand in printed and digital formats.
Maintaining the connection extends beyond the holiday season. Follow up with new contacts after the event, expressing gratitude for the conversation. Keep the connection alive by periodically keeping in touch. For example, you see an article that might interest them, send them a message with the link to the article.
Dress elegantly to leave a lasting impression yet remain classic and refined. Make sure your outfit aligns with the event and dress code. Upscale your attire with the highest quality items you can afford. Pay attention to every detail and accessory and upscale those as well. For example, if hosiery is required, try Woolford or Falke over brands you can pick up at your local grocery store. There is a difference in appearance and endurance when it comes quality items, down to the simple things like hosiery.
Most importantly, be sure to wear a smile and show your confidence! As a certified international etiquette consultant, I am here to help if you need additional assistance with a specific event, or general etiquette training.
The advice of a trusted and knowledgeable friend is always helpful when you’re unsure. I am here to help. Click the link below to book your coaching or training today.
Elegantly Dealing with Difficult People
It all begins with an idea.
In life, we all encounter people who challenge our patience, are rude or intentionally seek to offend us. While it can be tempting to react, there’s power in handling difficult situations with grace and calm. Elegance in difficult conversations can make a lasting impression—not only on others but also on ourselves. Here are three tips to keep in mind:
Stay Calm and Centered: When faced with negativity, take a deep breath before responding. Ground yourself, maintain eye contact, and don’t let emotions drive your reaction. Staying calm disarms tension and often prevents a situation from escalating.
Listen with Empathy: Often, difficult people are dealing with unseen struggles. By listening attentively, you might uncover reasons behind their behavior. Approach the conversation with empathy, asking questions to show that you’re genuinely interested in understanding their point of view.
Have Prepared Responses: Taking a cue from media training, if you know someone will make rude inquiries or statements, prepare a classy response in advance. For example, a relative is known to make comments about the cost of your handbag in comparison to your contribution to a family meal. You may respond with something like “It’s nice to know you recognize quality and good taste when you see it.” You can leave it there or if you feel the need to turn the table with ‘classy shade” you might add, “I’m sure you agree good taste goes beyond a mere handbag and applies to conversation as well.”
Or perhaps you are cornered by someone you don’t necessarily care for. The graceful behavior would be to look past your dislikes and focus on their positive qualities. Be kind and patient, giving your best effort to treat them as you would want them to treat you.
The point here is to anticipate these situations and have a plan as to how you will respond or act.
Set Boundaries Politely: It’s essential to set boundaries without being confrontational. Kindly but firmly let the person know what’s acceptable. You can express this with phrases like, “I value our conversation, but let’s keep it respectful.” Setting boundaries shows you’re willing to engage, but only in a healthy, respectful way.
Grace under pressure isn’t easy, but with practice, it can become second nature. Handling conflict with elegance not only preserves your peace but often inspires those around you to do the same.
I will have a video out later this week that breaks down the touchpoints mentioned above.
Head over to my YouTube video Dealing With Difficult People where give you media training tips to handle such situations.
The advice of a trusted and knowledgeable friend is always helpful when you’re unsure. I am here to help. Click the link below to book your coaching or training today.
Classy Women Plan Ahead
It all begins with an idea.
Classy Women Plan Ahead: The Art of Thoughtful Living
This past Sunday, as I was cleaning up my kitchen after cooking what was almost a thanksgiving dinner. I had a moment when I thought about leaving a few dishes in the sink for the next day. Then I thought about how I would feel Monday morning when I walked into my kitchen and saw them - it would not have set the fresh, positive tone for my day; not to mention it is quite inelegant. I like walking into a pristine, well arranged kitchen. I thought about how I would feel: happy, energized, elegant and prepared to have a great day! Which lead to the thought, how I end Sunday night sets the tone for Monday, and in fact the rest of the week. This lead me to thinking about the power of intentionality and planning, and the benefits we gain by making these regular practices. We can actually plan the tone and success of our lives.
Undeniably, there’s something appealing about the poised, well-prepared woman. If you think about it, the most classy women embody a unique blend of grace and practicality. They understand that planning ahead not only enhances their lives but also radiates confidence and sophistication. Therefore, I think this is the optimal time to begin a series on planning.
The Power of Planning
Planning isn't just about organizing your schedule or managing tasks. It shows you have a mindset rooted in foresight and being deliberate. As a classy woman, I am sure you appreciate that when you are prepared you can navigate life's complexities with ease. Whether it's planning for a career milestone, a social event, or even a personal project, forward-thinking fosters an environment where you can thrive.
Benefits of Planning Ahead
Reduces Stress: Knowing what lies ahead alleviates anxiety. A well-laid plan can turn potential chaos into calm, enabling you to handle challenges with poise.
Enhances Decision-Making: With a clear roadmap, decision-making becomes more straightforward. You can weigh options thoughtfully, ensuring your choices align with your goals.
Inspires Confidence: When you're prepared, you naturally exude elegance. This self-assuredness influences not just personal endeavors but also professional interactions and relationships.
Creates Opportunities: Planning often opens doors. By anticipating future needs or opportunities, as a classy woman you position yourself to seize moments that others may overlook.
Strategies for Effective Planning
Set Clear Goals: Whether short-term or long-term, having specific objectives provides direction and motivation.
Prioritize: Not all tasks hold equal importance. Classy women know how to identify what's urgent versus what's important, ensuring they focus on what truly matters.
Embrace Flexibility: While planning is crucial, it's equally important to remain adaptable. Life is unpredictable, and the ability to pivot can lead to unexpected joys.
Maintain Balance: A well-rounded life requires a balance of work, relationships, and personal time. Classy women ensure their plans reflect this equilibrium.
Ultimately, the most classy women stand out because of their ability to foresee, prepare, and adapt, which not only enriches their own lives but also inspires those around them. By embracing thoughtful living, you can show everyone that elegance isn't just appearance, but in your approach to life. So, be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it.
Check out my YouTube video Classy Women Plan Ahead: The Art of Thoughtful Living.
Next week, we look into planning for the holiday season. Specifically, how to handle difficult people or unpleasant situations class and elegance.